Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Christmas Time.....

Recently I have been working on Christmas stuff for the worship team and our yearly Christmas Eve service. I have been scouring the internet and praying and racking my brain on how to make this Christmas service not just another service but an encounter with God. You know Christmas and Easter are every churches opportunity to reach those who only come to church once or twice a year. It's funny how you learn through little experiences. So i have been you tubing and goggling and searching and searching and praying and all that stuff that a "good worship leader" does. Today i am sitting in my classroom, not sure I mentioned that i am teaching but i was prompted by the Holy spirit to just stop. Well i don't know about you but when God says stop i do really try to listen, It was so strange because i have been trying and trying and trying and all i heard was STOP!!!!! So amongst all the business that my job entails i began to just kind of meditate on the word Stop, lol one word i know how do you do that well...... I have recently learned that meditation is a necessary spiritual discipline( little plug for the leadership training class at the church :) I think i just rambled :) lol so in meditating i began to think with the holiday season coming and you know all the hustle and bustle of it all. How many of us Stop and enjoy it? How many of us Stop and spend the season enjoying our family and friends, isn't that what it's for. We spend so much money and time and energy looking for that perfect gift when really the perfect gift is of course Jesus but along side Jesus precious time with the ones we love. One of my dear friends said the other day Christmas was her favorite time of the year. For me the last few years not so much, I think because i worried about money and what and when and where and how. This christmas i intend to enjoy my family and the season. So in that meditation i believe God has given me an awesome Christmas Service designed specifically by him. So excited to experience this season with Jesus and my family. SO I LOVE CHRISTMAS :)

Saturday, October 15, 2011


It's amazing how refreshing one act of love or two minutes of your time can be. I was reminded last evening of how important relationships are. In the very busiest of times it is so important to cultivate relationships around you. To cherish and honor the people in your court. Life deals all kind of crazy blows, sometimes so painful the wind escapes your body and you feel like you can't breathe. But then in the stillest and loneliest of times the breath of God breathes through a friend or your Pastor or someone who knows the very inner secrets and still loves you. It's at those times that we forget to stop and be thankful. So many times our focus is on the people who hurt us or those who don't "like" us we forgot how important the ones that do "like" us are. I know in my own life a lot of the time my Husband takes the brunt of my outburst. To his credit i am not always the easiest person to deal with I can be very emotional and a bit irrational ( did i just say that out-loud ;) lol ) God has every so graciously showed me over the last month that my Husband is for me and sometimes i need to shut up and Listen ( another thing i probably shouldn't have said out-loud ). In his wisdom i have learned that letting him in and listening is so much easier than trying to deal with all the hurt myself. Wow amazing lesson after almost 14 years of marriage:). I think the most refreshing thing to me is that when i sit in the quiet no matter how much it hurts i get the peace that can only come from the one who really knows my heart and loves me even more. Recently We took a class at church on Spiritual Disciplines, so yes after being a christian for most of my life i finally understand why we are supposed to read our bible, meditate and pray :) woo-hoooo. Practicing these things consistently over the last few weeks has shown me so much about my self that i really wasn't aware of. Emotional me ???? UMMM yes :) Anger um maybe a little:) While i am able to recognize the negative i also am able to see the strengths and have begun to realize why those areas i struggle with are there. The most amazing part is the freedom you feel when you are able to look at yourself and really know who you are. The chains are gone and freedom blows in like a hurricane wind. Does the hurt leave um not all of it but a new skin comes that is tougher and a little less easy to penetrate. Hurt will always be inevitable but God's perfect love and affection makes it tolerable. I am so amazed at some of the revelation God has been giving me over the last month. It's ok to be me even if there are people who don't like me, it's ok to be me even when people you love walk away, it's ok to be me because there will be people who need what God put in me to give. IT"S OK TO BE ME!!!!!!!

Sunday, June 12, 2011


Well it has been along time since i wrote on here. I must say I got a little inspired by my sister in law who has been posting some as of late. It was always so refreshing to share and "vent" for lack of a better word on here ;). So much has changed since i read the posts that are already on here. Johnnie and i have been married 13 years now and have been honored to lead worship at NHC for almost three years (I think). My son Emry is now 13 (WOW) and going into the eighth grade. Maya just turned 12 and is going into the 7th grade. Amazing how much we have walked through or should i say how much God has carried us through. So many times i think if i could go back would i change it. Probably depends on which day you ask me what the answer will be. But as we continue on the course placed before us, I have learned so much, so i don't think i would trade any of it. Even some of the hurt has shaped and molded me into who i am. I won't pretend that i have it all together cause i don't but i will give myself props for waking up every day with God's purpose for my life in mind. Some days i fail miserably but i won't stop getting up and trying. This journey called life that all of us are taking is filled with so many bumps and bruises along the way but i believe every bump and bruise build character and integrity along the way.

Friday, May 21, 2010

It's been a long time.....

I was prompted today to start writing on here's crazy how fast time's been two years since i was on here. We have been stretched and grown but God has remained ever faithful. My Grandfather recently passed away which was very hard for me, i loved him so very much and still can't really believe he is gone but he is with Jesus and he's not in pain anymore!!!!! I have been thinking alot about him this week and have cried tears. Why does it hurt so much to lose people i know he is with jesus in heaven and i know he's at peace but it really does hurt alot. I can say with all honesty i don't feel guilt i just feel sad like i want him back, realizing that is very selfish i am forced to say "God forgive me". He was so much like a father to me, in alot of ways he was the only father i really knew. Maybe because fathers day is coming soon, it stirs these emotions. Not really sure all i do know is i miss him very very much. I love you Gramps!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, July 11, 2008

An Empty Vessel

What does it mean to be an empty vessel??? This is something that has been weighing very heavy on my heart. Do we empty ourselves completely of everything that is us to become all of him. It is so hard to know where the line is drawn in truly emptying yourself. Sometimes i think it is finding the place where you are so much in tune with God that is becomes like you are one with him. I feel like i am talking in circles sometimes. It has been so long since i have written on here. This question that i have asked has puzzled me so much. I think so many times we can lost in the busyness of being saved, that we really forget why we got saved in the first place. To quote a famous song" I once was lost but now i am found was blind but now i see" Do you remember what it felt like the very first time you gave your life to Jesus. I remember this peace filling my whole body. Not just any peace, a peace like no other. I think if we are staying in touch with God and staying focused that peace should always be there. We lose it when we try to control what is going on around us. I am gonna get a little personal with myself. I lose it alot, i find myself rehearsing over and over what someone said or did wrong to me. Trying to figure out why they should be in the position they are in and still able to treat people like they do. Crazy but it is like i am a hen pecker, i peck the situation until every little seed is gone. Stupid i know and i guess today i kind of had a revelation. Jesus wants me to be with him and all that peckin is keeping my focus on them not him. Sounds childish i know but i think one of the worst areas the church falls short in is to much peckin and not enough lovin..... for lack of a better way to put it. I want to walk in to my church and feel that peace and love i felt the first day i gave my life to God. That warm fuzzy feeling you feel when you truly experience the holy spirit for the first time. I know that we can't always have the fuzzies but the concept is what i am looking for the concept that i am completely in tune and the church is completely in tune with God that we stop peckin and start doin. Start sharing his love, start lovin past the hurts and appearance, start helpin even though it may require us to give a little more than we want. Is the church really that far gone that we have forgotten how to love? I am repenting to God right now because i have been a pecker( wow that sounds bad) and i want to keep my seed to sow into someone not peck it all away............

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Sisters everywhere.......

A young wife sat on a sofa on a hot humid day, drinking iced tea and visiting with her Mother. As they talked about life, about marriage, about the responsibilities of life and the obligations of adulthood, the mother clinked the ice cubes in her glass thoughtfully and turned a clear, sober glance upon her daughter
'Don't forget your Sisters,' she advised, swirling the tea leaves to the bottom of her glass. 'They'll be more important as you get older. No matter how much you love your husband, no matter how much you love the children you may have, you are still going to need Sisters. Remember to go places with them now and then; do things with them.'
'Remember that 'Sisters' means ALL the women... your girlfriends, your daughters, and all your other women relatives too. 'You'll need other women. Women always do.'
What a funny piece of advice!' the young woman thought. Haven't I just gotten married?
Haven't I just joined the couple-world? I'm now a married woman, for goodness sake! A grownup! Surely my husband and the family we may start will be all I need to make my life worthwhile!'
But she listened to her Mother. She kept contact with her Sisters and made more women friends each year. As the years tumbled by, one after another, she gradually came to understand that her Mom really knew what she was talking about. As time and nature work their changes and their mysteries upon a woman, Sisters are the mainstays of her life.
After more than 50 years of living in this world, here is what I've learned:
Time passes. Life happens. Distance separates. Children grow up. Jobs come and go. Love waxes and wanes. Men don't do what they're supposed to do. Hearts break. Parents die. Colleagues forget favors. Careers end.
Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how many miles are between you. A girl friend is never farther away than needing her can reach.
When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you have to walk it by yourself, the women in your life will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on, praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley's end.
Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside you...Or come in and carry you out.Girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters, daughters-in-law, sisters, sisters-in-law, Mothers, Grandmothers, aunties, nieces, cousins, and extended family, all bless our life!
The world wouldn't be the same without women, and neither would I. When we began this adventure called womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we would need each other.
Every day, we need each other still.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

It's Almost Vacation Time......

This was supposed to be the first year we took a vacation as a family and i must admit i am a little bummed because we could not go. Johnnie's work froze all leave so we were not able to leave as planned. So basically what we have to do is take two long weekends somewhere around here. I should not complain i guess it is better than nothing but i was really excited about getting to go away as a family. We are gonna go to lake city this weekend sun to Tues and visit some friends come back wed cause Johnnie has to work leave again on sun and stay through Tues. again at his parents. So two long weekends and that is it. When i started writing this we were gonna take long weekends but now as it turns out we don't get to go anywhere Johnnie's job has froze all he is gonna get one day off a week for the rest of the summer. OK a fresh outlook (it stinks) we so deserve a vacation, i am gonna stand in faith and believe that somehow before the kids go back to school that we will get a vacation. We really need it!!!!!